


I Know

by AdelineCaffrey



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Friendship, Galra Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 10:50:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19271752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdelineCaffrey/pseuds/AdelineCaffrey
Summary: “I’m Galra, Pidge,” it was the first time he really said it out loud. That he used the word. He felt sick. “I’m Galra. You know, the reason your brother’s gone? The reason we were all dragged out here in the first place?"  His voice was getting louder, unintentionally, but he couldn’t find the effort to stop it.***A few hours after Keith tells the team he's part Galra he runs into Pidge, and internal thoughts begin to overflow in the worst way.





	I Know

Five am was too early to be awake but considering that Keith had never actually gone to sleep in the first place he decided it didn’t count. Shiro had come into the training room hours ago telling him to go bed and Keith had said he would…but he couldn’t. The idea of staying still right now, letting his thoughts consume him in the dark, quiet of his room didn’t sit well with him. So, he found himself wondering around the castle instead, the dull white lights shining dimly in the hall.

At least he thought it was night. It was hard to tell in space but everyone else was asleep. Or almost everyone, apparently. A light from the designated living room caught his eye, and he frowned, eyebrows furrowing. Who else would be up?

Lance didn’t wake up till as late as possible, Hunk was usually in the kitchen if he was awake, Shiro hadn’t actually gone to bed that long ago so hopefully he’d still be sleeping, and he-he sighed through his nose, it wasn’t likely it was Allura but if it was, she’d just ignore him anyway, like she’d been doing since that morning after blowing up at him, tears spilling and betrayal and hate colouring her voice. The thought of it made his stomach curl.  He shouldn’t have been surprised though; he didn’t know what he should’ve expected when he the team found out he was one of- one of _them._

Except that was part of the problem. Allura was the only one who reacted like she did. The others should’ve- they should’ve hated him; they were meant to. Lance was meant to be finally be happy they had a reason to kick him out, Hunk was supposed to be scared and Shiro was supposed to hate him because Keith was one of the- after everything the Galra did to him.

But they didn’t.

He wondered into the room, one hand on the knife at his side, just in case. Except knowing what the knife meant and where it came from left a whole other package of varying emotions he didn't want to feel right now. So he ignored it. He was good at that.

There was a lump on the sofa and a soft glowing light. He frowned.

“Hello?”

The lump, or a pile of blankets he realised, jumped, the laptop clattering to the floor with the force of the movement.

Pidge. Of course, it was Pidge. She was an insomniac, which couldn’t have been healthy, for a what, a fifteen-year-old?

“Oh, hi Keith,” she said, her head popping up from the cocoon of blankets as she readjusted them around her, leaning over to pick up her laptop. Her hair was a mess as always, and deep rings circled under her eyes. She should be sleeping.

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you”

But she should be scared, be scared of him, of what he was. The fact that he was- unconsciously he could feel the anger start to well up inside him, a spark being blown into a flame. He pushed it down.

She shrugged, “Don’t worry about it, I just wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up.” She turned back to her laptop, checking for any cracks.

He nodded slowly.

“So,” he said and he knew he sounded awkward, he was never good with people, with words and conversations, maybe that made a little more sense now. “Why are you up?”

She chuckled slightly and he wasn’t sure how to react. Was she laughing at him or..?

“I could ask you the same thing.”

She could, but he wouldn’t answer. They’d been becoming more a team lately, but being open like that, even the thought made his throat start to close over.

Her voice became softer as she continued, her gaze drifting down. “I was looking for Mat,” she said. “I thought I found a trail but it was nothing.”

“Oh.” Mat. Taken by the Galra, just like Shiro, just like Sam. “I’m sorry.”

Her lip twitched up into a sad smile. “It’s not your fault.”

The bottled-up anger came back with a vengeance. That was always a problem for him, keeping a lid on his temper. He thought he’d blown it of in the training room but it had been simmering under the surface for hours. He guessed it all made a hell of lot more sense now, right? Given that he part- because he was-

“Isn’t it though?” he snapped, and he registered Pidge jumping slightly at the sudden switch in tone. But he’d been holding this in for days. He had to say it, he had to get it out of his system. “I don’t care, go on, blame me Pidge.”

He shouldn’t give into his anger, instead of a relief it always worked him up more, and after today after the trails of Mamora…

She looked confused. “Keith what are you-“

“I’m Galra Pidge,” it was the first time he really said it out loud. That he used the word. He felt sick. “I’m Galra. " He hesitated, gaze shifting to the ground as he ran a hand through his hair. 

"You know? The reason your brother’s gone? The reason we were all dragged out here in the first place?” His voice was getting louder, unintentionally but he couldn’t find the effort to stop it.

“You’re not like them,” she said, and he hated how damn sure she sounded.

“How do you know that?” he asked, voice rough and raw, because everyone thought they knew him and what he was like and what he would do, but he didn’t even know himself and it was terrifying. He took a step forward. “How do you know I’m not like them? You should be afraid of me Pidge.”

“Keit-“

“Why don’t you yell at me? Or hit me? Or call me to be kicked off the team, I know you all want to.” He ignored how his voice cracked. “What if I’m some Galra spy, or I’m the reason Shiro was taken, or why Lance got hurt-“

“Yo-“

“You’re meant to hate me.” His voice was sharp and his hands shook and he barely registered how he was advancing forward, “You have to hate me. Blame me.”

His breath was laboured and ragged and sore and his cheeks were wet and his insides were twisted and the anger inside him was burning and he felt sick but he couldn’t stop. It was all he could think about since he’d found out, circling his head on damn loop.

_They hated him, they hated him they hated him. he was alone again, he was alone again, he was alone again hewasaloneagainhewasaloneagainhewasaloneagain_

“You all do! I know you all-“

“Keith!”

He blinked. Everything stopped. And his blurred eyes began to clear, the familiar unfamiliar voice knocking him out of his head space. His chest hurt.

“What the hell are you doing?” Lance asked from the door, gaze flicking between the two of them.

Keith unclenched the hands he hadn’t realised he’d tensed into fists, and guilt knotted inside him when he realised how close he was to Pidge, how wide her eyes were as he’d backed her up against the sofa in his anger.

He stepped back, hands falling to his sides, mouth parted slightly. He could hear is heart beat- what just-that wasn’t meant to-

“Pidge are you okay?”

His gaze fell to the floor at Lance’s voice, half of his face shrouded in shadow, the backs of his eyes stinging.

She cleared her throat, shifting to sit back down the sofa, he hadn’t even realised she’d stood up. When did she stand up?

“I’m fine.” He could feel both pairs of eyes on him. he couldn’t meet them.

He bit the inside of his cheek, swallowing, his eyes burned.

“Keith-“

“I’m going to the training room.” He hated how much his voice croaked. He turned to leave, shouldering past Lance.

How loudly had he been shouting? Loudly enough for Lance to hear at any rate. Loudly enough for his throat to ache. Loudly enough for Pidge to look afraid. He knew what he’d been yelling at her, but seeing the look on her face- he sucked in a deep breathe through his nose as he left the room. He could barely hear the muttering between Lance and Pidge over the blood roaring in his ears.

If she didn’t hate him before, she did now, she had too.

He froze halfway down the hall as a realisation hit like a wave. He’d just proved Allura right. Everything was- everything was- God he such a mess. All he could do was push people away, that was all he was good for, no wonder everybody just left- no wonder he was alone- he made them, it was all his fau-

“Hey man,” Lance’s voice was soft, gentle. A warm hand was placed on his shoulder, grounding him. “Are you okay?”

Keith hadn’t even heard him. Lance moved from behind him to beside him, eyes shining with concern.

Keith didn’t have a choice but to raise his gaze from the floor.

“Is Pidge-“

“She’s fine. She’s Pidge.”

He could only nod.

“Keith,” he continued, “I know it might be hard to believe, but we don’t hate you.”

“Allura-“

“She’ll come around. But this- nothing that happened is your fault, you didn’t get a choice to who you’re born as and you’re nothing like that. We all know what Keith is like.”

He snorted slightly, but there was no humour in it. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

“A show off with anger issues, a stupid half jacket and a mullet.” His mouth twitched up. “And none of us hate you. And I don’t think you could do anything to get us too either.”

He breathed in deeply shifting his gaze to the grey walls of the hall. Anywhere but Lance’s face, it was too open, too honest.

When he told everyone, he thought Lance would use it the most, another excuse to hate him, so he’d been surprised when all he got was one or two Galra jokes, but that was just Lance being Lance. He’d ignored it. But now… this.

He cared. He really cared. And apart from Shiro, no on had done that for years… except his team.

“I should go and apologise to Pidge.” He said.

“Probably, yeah.” Lance smiled at him. “Just- we’re all here for you okay man? Don’t forget that.”

Keith couldn’t bring himself to smile back, after what had just happened, but a weight that had been pressing on his chest making it difficult to breathe eased just a little bit. Lance was right. Trusting wasn’t one of Keith’s strong points, but he could try.

He swallowed.

“I know.”

Lance clapped him on the shoulder one more time. “And don’t worry, we’ll work it out. All of us, we always do.”

This time, all be it, weak, and with his eyes burning, and his chest aching, he smiled slightly.

“I know.”

And maybe right now he didn’t, but he could work it out- they could work it out.

Because this time, he had to remind himself, he wasn’t alone.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a fic I had in mind for a long time, I always wanted to see the teams reactions to Keith and especially how Keith feels about the aftermath, so I wrote this lil thing. I also wanted to include some of the actions of the time keith got angry at Pige after she said she wanted to the leave the team, he had no problem shouting or moving toward her so i wanted to try and use a little of what we're shown about what he does when he's angry or upset as well.  
>   
> I'm not entirely happy with this but thought I'd post it anyway,  
> I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think! :)


End file.
